Happiness in two words
A Vedantic lens on contentment
Dear friends:
Recently, a good friend shared that she mainly enjoyed making people happy. I responded right away that we cannot make anyone happy. Sure, we can provide uplifting or lighthearted moments to friends, but ultimately, it was up to us to discover our own happiness or contentment in life.
After this conversation, I checked my understanding with my guru, Swami Dheerananda, “Swamiji, is it possible to make someone happy? What is the Vedantic lens on this question?”. I shared the gist of the conversation with my friend that people should find their own happiness.
His response was an anti-climax of sorts that made me chuckle, in appreciation: “Annapurna, we are happiness”, he responded.
Turns out, both my friend and I were wrong. <<smile>>
Nothing like Vedanta to turn conventional belief on its head and present the reality in simpler, more meaningful terms, for me anyway. Finding wisdom through Vedanta always makes me realize how much we complicate life, thanks to the ally-foe, our Mind.
Strip ourselves of our mind full of woes, we might just be more mindful and therefore, content in life.
A Vedantic perspective on happiness is much like this saying—calling above all for an internal fine tuning of our mindset more than an outward journey to acquire contentment. Picture credit goes to my friend, Neelima Polam, author of the Bluishmuse at www.bluishmuse.com.
In Vedanta, belief in “I am” holds the key to happiness or contentment in life.
In essence, “I am” is the granddaddy of all principles in the belief system of Vedanta.
Why?
Identifying with anything we add after the words “I am”, whether a noun like mother, wife, or writer, indicating our role in life, or an adjective like sad, mad, or elated, indicating our state of mind, is likely to cause us grief in life.
We must play the roles—cheerfully—to the best of our ability, but we must not get too sucked into identifying with them. If we do, we must quickly come back to the mindset, “I am” reminding ourselves that we are not that mom mad at our teen for missing a key deadline (any guesses for how my morning began? «smile») or a co-worker upset at not being recognized for a job well done.
Why?
Because identifying with our roles and emotions produced by our mind take us away from being an observer or sakshi in life. Being a sakshi or witness in life is the seat of God in Vedanta. “I am” is referred to in many ways in the Vedantic belief system—sakshi, Brahman, Atman, or the divine consciousness.
We are best served by keeping the stance of a witness to life events and experiences.
That way, first, we are not entangled in the grind of the daily and hence tossed here and there by the emotions produced by our mind. We can maintain a higher perch of an observer. Most of the unhappiness in life comes from unfulfilled desires arising from the roles we play and the strong emotions they evoke, so being a sakshi with a witness attitude will help us have fewer desires or vasannas, a root cause of discontentment in life.
Second, by not reacting to everything that comes our way, we are able to—with that reserve we exercise—tap more and more into our inner wisdom or our Self. It's only in the quiet of the mind that our inner wise guide or our Self shines.
Think of any instance in life, say an argument, where instead of being reactive in the heat of the moment, you remained silent and, in its aftermath, you made your key decisions. Weren’t you better served by the quiet of your inner wisdom?
Then what about responsibilities that come with our myriad roles in life?
Being closer to “I am” and being an observer does not mean that we don’t fulfill the responsibilities that come with our roles. We must fulfill our duties of a mother, wife, professional, or a child as we must do our karma yoga. But we simply choose not to get entwined in the emotions and drama each of them evokes, recognizing that we must foremost be an observer or a sakshi to all situations in life. Furthermore, it is only by fulfilling our karma or duties and getting exposed to various situations—good and bad—that we attain wisdom. The Bhagavad Geeta, a key text in the Vedantic philosophy, clearly advises that it is only through actions or karma yoga that we attain wisdom or jyana yoga. You become a better runner by running more, a better writer by writing more, a better teacher by teaching more. I wrote about this in my post on Voltaire’s Candide.
So, there is no shying away from roles, but we do fulfill our roles with a sense of detachment, which leads us to discover happiness.
Living life this way as “I am”, we also entertain fewer expectations. And that in fact, helps bring out the best in us and in others around us as well.
I serve, love, give, and play my roles in life—cheerfully—above all to purify my own mind and intellect of my desires that are a natural to the human mind. Purer the mind, greater the contemplation and the closer it helps us get to the perfection of our own Self. And in the process, I cultivate the right attitude or bhāvanā to discover: “After all, I am happiness”.
Meaningfully yours,
Anu Prabhala
PS: I am a student of Vedanta and the little I know so far is thanks to my guru, Swami Dheerananda of the Chinmaya Mission of the Washington, DC area.
An interesting and thoughtful meditation, Anu.
Most Poets (and artists too) are great observers. The nature of being a Poet is to see what other people might not, or to see significance in something others might also see - but disregard.
Then a poet goes one step further, from being a witness, to bearing witness - communicating their vision to others in the form of words, spoken or written.
As soon as we do that, we create meaning - often a meaning deeply articulated with emotion, because the nature of being human is to respond to the world with emotion. The emotion is not "in" the words. The emotion is in the reader and yes - I would say just as you said to your friend - it is the reader who ultimately has to find their response inside themselves - happiness, sadness, anger, grief....
From a Vedantic perspective - what does this make the Poet?
And yes, I realise that by saying "I am.. a Poet" I am focussing on a role, but if that role is inherently linked to being a sakshi.... is it just a role?
I have a genuine interest. Strange - but true - I recently took a ride in a taxi and the driver, a most fascinating and sincere man, turned out to be a student, and Teacher, of both the Vedas and of theoretical physics. He was handsome, charismatic, and a compelling intellect, with words of genuine wisdom.
I felt as if the cab was my chariot, and the driver was.......
Well. I'm a Poet. What else could I think?
And there is a poem in that experience, or maybe an entire novel, but I think I need to read the Gita first.
Best Wishes from Australia - Dave :)